I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
