If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
organizing the empties. That sober.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My feet surprised me
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