It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize