you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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