Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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