you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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