I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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