would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
