i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
