And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
