haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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