I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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