Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I am mentally ready for anal.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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