Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
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Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.