she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)