that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Randomize