so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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