it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
