I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You can't special order awesome
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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