Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This is the high leading the old right now
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
