And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
