Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
