I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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