I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
