whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
