I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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