this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
