this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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