He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
