Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And then my night got REAL pukey
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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