youre lurking in front of me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
