You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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