Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
