38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
