so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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