She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
