I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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