I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
