Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize