I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
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I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
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How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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