everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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