this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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