No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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