i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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