yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
