He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
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So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
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We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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