Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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