Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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