Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
