i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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