I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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