Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
