That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
