we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
