I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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