she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize