She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize