i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
