i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
