I could make wine with my vomit
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize