Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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