She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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