You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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