Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
