it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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